Waking Up
by bionic4ever
Summary: Chris is dead - and Jaime blames Steve. A different take on what might have followed Chris and Jaime's disastrous mission to Budapest.
1. Chapter 1

**Waking Up**

Chapter One

The last thing Jaime remembered was the whole world blowing up around her. She'd called out to Chris but something huge and very heavy (that she hadn't seen coming) hit her in the head before she found out if he was in the building and if he was safe…or even still alive. She struggled now to open her eyes - to find out where she was and exactly what had happened - but the pain was unbearable.

_A bomb…_ she thought to herself as her eyes closed again. _They bombed the Embassy…_ Oscar had sent Jaime and Chris to Budapest to thwart the assassination of the American Ambassador and several key government officials who'd gathered there for a conference. Unfortunately, the Intel they had to work with was sketchy…and they were too late. As she drifted back toward the beckoning cushion of unconsciousness, Jaime wondered if Oscar knew where she was - and what had happened.

* * *

"Jaime? Honey, can you hear me?" Someone was gently touching her shoulder. It was a voice she knew well, but it was so much easier (and less painful) not to try and respond. "I need you to try and open your eyes for me," the voice persisted.

"Rudy…." Jaime moaned softly, her eyes still closed. "My head…hurts."

"I don't doubt it," he said gently. "But I need you to open your eyes, just for a minute."

Jaime winced as the light bored into her brain. It was almost too much. Rudy assessed her quickly - severe concussion but no outward signs of skull fracture, thank God. He'd already done a rudimentary splint job on her left arm, which was broken in several places and now he did his best to make his patient comfortable for the long journey that lay ahead of them.

"Where…are we?" Jaime asked weakly, shutting her eyes once again.

"We're on a plane, headed back to Washington. Oscar didn't feel it was safe for you to be treated in Budapest." He'd had to struggle to stabilize her quickly and get her onto the waiting plane and although she would be asleep for most of the flight he needed to assess her more thoroughly first. Relieved that she would be able to withstand the longer flight, he'd let the pilot know the emergency stopover would not be necessary, after all. Jaime's injuries were serious, but she'd be more comfortable on her home turf…and definitely safer, once they were back on American soil.

"Where's Chris?" Jaime whispered.

Rudy had known this question was coming. He only wished he had a better answer for her. "They haven't found him yet, Honey," he said quietly. "But I spoke to Oscar a little while ago and he plans to call Steve in on this. They'll find him." The doctor patted Jaime's hand in a gesture of comfort. "Try not to worry."

His words were useless - and he knew it. Jaime and Chris had been together for almost nine years. At times, things had been rocky - on-again, off-again - but the last few years had seen them grow very close. Although they'd never married, their bond was strong and undeniable. Rudy knew his patient was deeply in love…and he wondered about her chances of recovery should the news from Budapest turn bad (or if there was no news at all).

* * *

Oscar paced nervously outside the big double doors to the operating room and nearly jumped out of his own skin when Rudy finally emerged. "How is she?" he asked anxiously.

"She's holding on, but her injuries are more serious than I thought. I fixed her bionics, patched the broken ribs and re-set her left arm. She took a severe blow to the head, so I'll be watching her closely for signs of inter-cranial bleeding." Rudy hoped that Oscar could provide a much-needed patch for his patient's heart. "What's the word from Budapest? Was Steve able to find Chris?"

Oscar stared at the floor, hating his own words before he'd even uttered them. "Steve didn't go."

"What? Why the hell not?

"Said he's retired and to send someone else to look for Williams. He flat-out refused. I sent a team in - one of my best - and they were able to locate a witness who saw Chris being led away at gunpoint, just before the explosion."

"You mean -?"

Oscar nodded, his expression grim. "He's been captured. We don't know where he is."

- - - - -


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Chris had been in the tiny, closet-like cell for days, although he'd long since stopped trying to keep track of time. He'd had no food or water and no contact with anyone - not even his captors. The only light came from a very small, barred slit at the top of the cell door. He could hear the guards go by every now and then and they'd sometimes stop and look through the slit, almost mocking him, but Chris barely noticed anymore.

His only thoughts were of Jaime. He had seen and heard the explosion as he was being driven away and he knew Jaime was somewhere in the middle of it. She had branched off away from him to track down a suspicious voice she'd heard…and then it had happened. Chris's heart broke at the knowledge that he'd most likely been witness to her death. If only he'd tried harder through the years in his efforts to get Jaime to marry him! He had no doubt that she did love him, but somehow marriage had just never been in their cards.

When the glass in the tiny window was slid to the side and a rifle barrel poked its way through the bars, Chris never noticed. His last thoughts were of Jaime…

* * *

After a second surgery, this one to relieve the concussive pressure in her brain, Jaime was non-responsive for days. Oscar was working long and hard, over-seeing the progress of the search for Chris; he knew how much it would mean to Jaime to hear good news when she finally woke up. He called Rudy several times a day for updates on Jaime's condition until the third day after her surgery, when he showed up at the hospital in person.

Rudy was alarmed by his appearance. Oscar was haggard, his clothes more rumpled than if he'd slept in them - he'd obviously been working through the night. His face was drawn and his eyes dark and grim. "How is she?" Oscar asked, sounding almost trance-like.

Rudy shook his head. "Still no change. She mumbled Chris's name a few times during the night, but she's basically comatose. Her brain took a serious blow." Rudy hesitated - Oscar didn't look like he could take the news. "To be honest, she should be awake by now. The fact that she isn't…is a very bad sign." Rudy looked more closely at his friend and colleague, who obviously had some news of his own that had brought him here. "What is it, Oscar? Is it Chris? You found him?"

"In an alley, behind an abandoned warehouse…about an hour ago…our agents found his body."

Rudy winced and closed his eyes briefly as he processed the news. He wondered how in the world they'd ever tell Jaime…_if_ she woke up.

* * *

That evening, Oscar made the difficult decision to call Steve. With Jim and Helen both gone, Steve was the closest thing to family that Jaime had left and since Rudy had just down-graded Jaime's condition to critical, Oscar felt it was time. He relayed the details of Jaime's injuries to a mostly-silent Steve, ending with the suggestion that he might want to fly in and see her.

"Wouldn't that be a little awkward?" Steve asked. "I mean, since Chris is already with her -"

"Chris…isn't here, Pal."

"He's not still in Budapest, is he?"

"Steve," Oscar began very carefully, "Chris is dead."

The line returned abruptly to a dial tone. Steve had hung up.

* * *

After cancelling the week's entire schedule of charter boat trips, Steve sat alone in the back of Summer Maiden, staring morosely into his third glass of scotch. Oscar had asked for his help in getting Williams out…and he'd refused. Even if he could justify that refusal to himself (and he wasn't sure that he could), how would he ever be able to face Jaime again?

Steve had dated many different women since Jaime had chosen Chris. But, in truth, none of them had quite measured up and the relationships always seemed to fizzle away after the second or third date. Somewhere along the way, he'd realized that his heart just wasn't in it but he'd kept hoping that the next woman might be the one to make him forget about Jaime.

Now she was all alone in a hospital bed - no family by her side - and Steve couldn't bring himself to go to her. Once she found out about Chris (and about his refusal to help), she would certainly never speak to him again. Feeling more alone than he ever had in his life, Steve quickly downed a fourth glass and stretched out on the bunk for what was likely to be a sleepless night.

* * *

The next morning, Jaime began tossing restlessly in her bed, moaning softly in pain. Rudy hovered over her, keeping close watch, and suddenly her eyes snapped open. She looked wildly around the room before crying out….

"Where's Chris?"

- - - - -


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Chris…" Jaime whispered again.

Rudy didn't think she was anywhere near ready to hear the truth - but he couldn't outright lie to her, either. "Chris isn't here, Honey," he told her gently. Jaime's vital signs were bouncing all over the place; she didn't seem fully conscious.

"Need…Chris…." she murmured before her eyes fluttered closed again.

Oscar arrived outside the doorway just in time to overhear Jaime's plaintive cries. His eyes met Rudy's and the doctor shook his head sadly, joining Oscar in the hallway.

"Can she hear us?" Oscar wondered.

"No. I tuned her ear down when we relieved the pressure in her brain. The less extraneous input right now, the better."

Oscar nodded. "Are you going to tell her - or would you rather let me do it?"

"About Chris? I'll tell her, but right now the stress would be to much for her. When her condition improves - or if she flat-out asks me - I'll tell her."

"I called Steve."

Rudy's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh?"

"He hung up on me."

"That's hard to believe. Do you think he's coming?"

"I just…don't know."

* * *

Steve had managed to eke out an hour or two of sleep, but the night was full of terrible images - both when he was asleep and even more so when he was awake. He had never refused a mission before and cursed himself now for having done so this time. But he'd been retired for over five years. The refusal had nothing to do with Chris (or Chris's relationship with Jaime). Steve had figured - probably correctly - that once he stepped back into agent mode, Oscar would be reluctant to let him go back to retirement.

Now Chris was dead…and Steve was overcome with anger. Oscar had no right to put him in that position, to expect him to be a savior! He had no contacts anymore, no safety net! Hell, where did Oscar get off sending Jaime and Chris in the first place? They were supposed to have been retired, too! Steve knew that if Jaime found out he'd refused to go to Budapest, she'd probably never forgive him - and she had that right…if she survived.

Steve's heart longed to rush to Jaime's side, to hold vigil at her bedside, to comfort her, but he was certain his presence wouldn't be welcome. Still, he couldn't just sit on the deck of his boat and swill scotch and not _do something_. Resolutely, he packed a small bag and headed for the airport.

* * *

In the netherworld between unconsciousness and coma, Jaime was experiencing some horrific images of her own. She saw Chris, reaching for her from the other side of a widening chasm…heard him calling her name…and then he was gone and there was nothing left except the abyss. Jaime's dream-self, convinced she could find him, jumped into the chasm - and began to fall. Hundreds of hands reached toward her, some almost touching her as she free-fell toward the unknown world below.

"No…." real-world-Jaime cried out, just before she hit the bottom.

Surprisingly, it didn't hurt. The fall had felt endless and the room was larger than she could possibly conceive. Pitch-blackness enveloped her so thickly that dream-Jaime couldn't see her own hand in front of her face. She could sense dozens and dozens of people crowded all around her…but there was only one person she longed to see. Gathering her voice, dream-Jaime and real-world-Jaime called out in unison:

"_Chris!_"

There was no answer. No one spoke at all, but the crowd was surging nearer. Jaime felt as though she might suffocate. There were too many of them! They were closing in…she couldn't breathe! Panic beat hard in both Jaimes' chests and then suddenly, one calm voice spoke out of the darkness.

"Jaime….?"

Steve didn't belong here! Why was he calling to her…and where was Chris….?

Frightened beyond screaming, real-world-Jaime opened her eyes. She was all alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Jaime stared out into the empty hospital room. She knew she was alone, even though it hurt her head too much to try and move. She reached out in the direction of the call button and finally managed to press it but before anyone could get there, the darkness stole her away again.

Dream-Jaime found herself back inside the swirling mob of people at the bottom of the abyss. _Who are you? What do you want? _she demanded…but no one answered. Then she heard Steve's voice again.

"Turn on the light, Jaime. It's right there - it's always been right there."

_No. I can't!_

"You HAVE to…." Steve's calm voice insisted. "It's time."

Real-Jaime began tossing wildly in her hospital bed, just as Rudy reached her side. Dream-Jaime was reluctantly reaching for the unseen light switch when Rudy gently touched her shoulder, urging her to wake.

"No!" Jaime cried, thrashing dangerously across the mattress.

Rudy's careful hands steadied her, moving her back onto her pillow. "Easy, Honey. Try and lie still."

"Please, Rudy," she begged in a quivering voice. "I need Chris."

"You need to rest," Rudy told her.

"Get Chris…please…" Jaime winced with pain as she turned her head to look at Rudy.

"I'll get you something for pain," Rudy said, touching her hand. "Be right back." On his way to the drug cabinet, he passed his office where Oscar had been waiting. Rudy was startled to see that Oscar had company. Steve sat quietly with his former boss, waiting for word on Jaime's condition.

"How is she, Rudy?" he asked, his eyes bleary from lack of sleep and his face lined with worry.

"Jaime's in a lot of pain. I have to get back to her, but I'll talk to you as soon as I can." Rudy looked over to where Oscar was seated. "It's time to tell her. She keeps asking for him."

Oscar nodded his understanding and poured mugs of coffee for himself and Steve. They had a lot to discuss while they waited for Rudy.

* * *

Rudy found his patient sobbing quietly into her pillow. He injected the medicine into her IV and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "That should help fairly quickly."

Jaime looked up at him with bereft, empty eyes. "He's…dead…isn't he?"

"I'm so sorry, Honey," Rudy confirmed, gently taking her hand. "Yes, he is."

Jaime nodded silently and closed her eyes. She welcomed the blackness when the drug overtook her.

* * *

Back in the office, Steve finally broke the tense silence. "I'm sorry about Williams," he offered.

"Tell that to Jaime," Oscar snapped. He saw the pain in his friend's eyes…and he softened. "Why, Pal? You've never turned down an assignment before. Why this one?"

"I haven't worked for you in years, and you weren't giving me an assignment, Oscar. It was more like you were asking a favor - a favor I couldn't give you." Steve looked for understanding, and finding none, he continued. "It just isn't in me anymore. God, I wish it was! For Jaime's sake, I wish there was something I could've done. My contacts have all dried up. If I would've gone, you'd be minus two agents instead of one."

"I'm not blaming you, Pal," Oscar told him softly. "By the time you would've gotten there, he was already dead. There was nothing you could have done."

Steve hoped that Jaime would understand that, too.

* * *

Dream-Jaime felt the crowd back away when she reached for the light switch, as though they'd accomplished their goal. _This_ was what they wanted. Suddenly, light flooded the room and all around her, Jaime saw _faces_. Familiar faces - ones she had known and long-since forgotten and ones her amnesia had stolen away. In the middle of the now-smiling crowd, directly in front of her…was Steve.

Real-Jaime, now trapped in sedated slumber, felt every lost emotion flood into her at once like a bionic punch in her heart. Dream-Jaime fell weeping straight into Steve's arms, while Real-Jaime's entire soul cried out for Chris.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

After a long conference in Rudy's office, Steve decided to wait there while Oscar and Rudy returned to Jaime's bedside. She'd be waking up again soon and Rudy felt she should have people with her while she tried to come to terms with losing Chris.

"It may take several days before she's fully awake," Rudy explained as the walked down the hall. "And she's in significant pain, so I'll need to keep her medicated but she also needs some time to consciously absorb everything that's happened and to begin to deal with it. So I don't want to rush to sedate her. We'll have to play it by ear…see how much she's ready to handle."

They could tell that Jaime was dreaming as they watched her eyes dart back and forth behind closed lids. When she finally woke up and saw them standing over her, Jaime's face was a mask of confusion and pain but there was something else there, as well - and both men saw it. There was an indefinable light, an awareness, that they couldn't quite put their fingers on.

Jaime looked from Rudy to Oscar then back again…and tears silently filled her eyes. "It's true, isn't it? Chris is really….gone…"

"I'm so sorry, Jaime," Oscar told her. "We did everything we could…but we were too late. He was already gone."

Jaime swallowed hard. "How did…_it _happen?"

Rudy stepped closer, forever assessing her condition even as he helped tend to her emotional needs. "Honey, maybe you should rest a bit and get the details later."

"Please just tell me."

"Babe," Oscar began, very quietly, "Chris was captured…and…they shot him."

Jaime's head hurt so badly that she could barely see, but she _had _to know. "Who did it? Did Steve at least find them?" She saw the look that passed between the two men - and their silence terrified her. "What happened? Was Steve shot too?"

"Honey," Rudy said (as gently as possible), "Steve wasn't there."

"He didn't go? But Oscar said -"

"I sent the best team we've got in his place, Babe," Oscar affirmed. "It was just too late."

Jaime struggled to understand. "Why…didn't you send Steve?"

"He couldn't go. But my best team of agents -"

"Couldn't…" Jaime interrupted, "or _wouldn't_?" Again, the men's eyes grew dark as they glanced at each other, at a loss for the right words. "Never mind," she said bitterly. "I think you just answered me." She tried to sit up in the bed, with the full intention of telling them both for the record exactly what she thought of Steve and his non-effort, but her eyes rolled partially back in her head and Rudy gently eased her back onto the pillow.

When the sedative began to take effect, Jaime looked straight up at both of them. "I need to be alone now, please," she told them in a flat, empty voice. She had so much to sort out and no idea where to begin. Thankfully, sleep overtook her quickly…

Dream-Jaime looked at Steve with horror and wrenched herself out of his arms, backing away (with Steve matching her, step for step) until she could go no further. _Get away from me! _she cried, looking for help from the masses of people surrounding them and finding only calm, placid smiles on every face.

Steve reached for her and she ducked away from his hands. "I love you, Jaime," he told her, ducking with her, anticipating her move and taking a firm hold on her arm. "I _love _you," he said again. His eyes felt like they were boring straight through her.

Dream-Jaime apparently did not have bionic legs, because they gave out beneath her. She tried to crawl away, but Steve grabbed her ankle, then knelt down beside her. "I love you," he repeated.

_Stop saying that!_ she sobbed. _I love Chris…and you let him die! You __**killed**__ him!_

"I love you…"

In spite of the sedative, real-Jaime woke up screaming. Steve, who was on his way out and not far from her room, came running. Jaime turned her head to look at him and he was stopped dead in his tracks by the pain, fear and - yes - _hatred _in her eyes.

"Get out," she demanded before turning away to face the wall.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Rudy and Oscar (also alerted by Jaime's scream) found Steve in the hallway, out of Jaime's view and leaning against a wall, his face full of anguish and despair. Oscar went to him while Rudy tended to his patient.

"Pal…what happened?"

"I heard her scream - and I only wanted to comfort her - but she told me to get out. She won't even look at me!"

"Give her some time," Oscar suggested.

"I saw her eyes before she turned away," Steve told him sadly. "There was so much hatred…"

"Not hatred - _pain_. Jaime's been badly hurt, Steve - and she still has to come to terms with everything that's happened."

"What if she can't?" Steve asked, slumping dejectedly against the wall. "She may never forgive me…"

* * *

Jaime was still facing the wall as Rudy approached her bed. It wasn't until he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder that she turned around to face him. He could see right away that she was forcing back tears and that the pain she was feeling most acutely was not a physical one.

"Rudy," Jaime said in a weak, nearly inaudible voice, "I dreamed about…him."

"About Chris? That's to be expected, Honey -"

"No…about Steve…."

_This_, Rudy had not seen coming. "And that's what made you scream?"

"No…I don't know…it's all so confusing."

"Can you tell me about it?" Rudy asked. He watched Jaime shudder as the dream replayed itself in her mind.

"I just wanted to find Chris," she began, "but Steve was there. He…he grabbed me and wouldn't let go…and he kept saying that he loved me." Jaime finally failed in her stoic attempt to stop the tears. "And there were people everywhere…" Her voice was growing fainter and she visibly paled as she related what she'd 'seen'. "At first, they were strangers - I couldn't see their faces - but then when I turned on the light…there they were."

"And who were they, Honey?"

"It seemed like everybody I've ever known. Rudy…there were hundreds of 'em. My old teachers, my friends from school…my family - even the pilot of the plane I jumped from…"

Rudy tried to contain his shock, to hide it from Jaime, who didn't seem to grasp what all of this might mean. Before he could fashion an appropriate response, Jaime began to drift away again, into the 'comfort' of sleep. He reached over to straighten her blanket and, when he was sure she was out, joined Oscar in the hallway. "Where's Steve?" he wondered.

"It was too hard for him to be here. Jaime asked him to leave."

Rudy nodded. "It's probably better that he doesn't hear this anyway - at least not now. Let's go down to my office."

* * *

Dream-Jaime was suddenly all alone. The cavernous bottom of the abyss seemed even more ominous and threatening with the crowd of people gone. Suddenly, pictures began presenting themselves in front of her eyes, like movies without a screen. She saw her five-year-old self on a swing, having just received a lizard down the back of her dress courtesy of a grinning little boy.

The picture faded into another, of the New Years Eve when Steve gave Jaime her first _real _kiss. She saw her senior prom, with Steve back from the Air Force Academy, escorting her in full dress uniform. The pictures began to flash faster, with no time to take them in individually - or even to breathe.

Talking together at Lake Casitas, where they'd first realized their now-adult attraction…eating pizza at Guido's. And then…a jump from a plane that went terribly wrong. Real-Jaime's body jolted as dream-Jaime watched herself falling hard through the trees to what should've been certain death.

Her time in the hospital, with her new limbs, went by very quickly. Then a wedding was being planned and the two participants looked so happy that dream-Jaime couldn't stand to watch another second.

_No!_ she screamed, punching a fist through what would've been a screen…_Get out, get out, __**get out**__!_ She stepped back to find the beaming image of Steve still suspended in front of her and dream-Jaime began to cry. _I don't love you and I'll never love you - you __**killed**__ Chris!_

* * *

"My God, are you sure, Rudy?" Oscar asked in utter disbelief.

Rudy nodded. "It's best if we don't mention this to Steve until we see how it's all going to affect her, but Jaime has her memory back."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Jaime woke up quietly, overwhelmed by her dreams and what they might mean. Her mind was a swirling fog of confusion. The emotions that had played out in front of dream-Jaime's eyes were hers now, and it was more than she was ready to deal with all at once. She remembered (and could once again _feel_) the joy her younger self had experienced falling in love and planning her wedding to Steve. But much more vivid was her last memory of Chris…seeing him dragged away, just before the world as she knew it exploded and died.

One man whom she'd once loved so intensely had failed to prevent the loss of the one she'd loved for nearly a decade. She couldn't forgive him but even though she'd once bemoaned the loss of these newly-recovered emotions, now she just wanted to forget she'd ever known Colonel Steve Austin. Jaime would gladly have given back all of her new memories for just one more hour in Chris's arms.

* * *

"So what do we do now?" Oscar queried. "How do we help her?"

"First, I need to make sure Jaime's new memories aren't going to affect her physically, the way they did before. That's extremely difficult to gauge, since she's suffered a new head injury that's causing such intense pain. I've arranged a consult with Michael Marchetti," Rudy explained. "His research into the brain's normal - and abnormal - functioning is outstanding."

Oscar nodded. "He's one of the top men in the field now, from what I understand."

"He'll be here in a few hours. Until then, we need to keep things as low-key for Jaime as possible. That's why it's better that she doesn't see Steve until she can be thoroughly evaluated."

"Probably better for Steve, too," Oscar agreed.

* * *

Jaime was still lying silently in her hospital bed, trying to make round puzzle pieces fit into square holes in her mind. Even though she didn't dare close her eyes and see what else awaited her, it was the only way to block out the searing pain…

Dream-Jaime found herself on a tennis court, trembling all over as she stared blankly at a racket that had lodged in the chain-link fence. Steve was coming closer, to console her, and dream-Jaime turned and ran. It seemed like she'd been running forever...it was so dark now and rain was soaking her clothes and chilling her all the way to the bone. She was running blindly, unsure if she was running _to _something - or away from some unknown terror.

She needed help - she _had _to find help - the fierce storm and indescribable pain were crippling. Dream-Jaime found an old phone booth and forced her way inside…but she had no dime and no one to call. Desperately, she beat her fists against the glass enclosure…until she heard Steve's voice. He was looking for her! Before she could choose whether to flee or give up and let him find her, dream-Jaime's world went black.

Suddenly, she found herself back in the dark, echoing abyss…but a tunnel seemed to form out of wisps of nothing on the far side of…wherever she was. It was pitch-black and made her skin crawl but there was a light shining brightly at the other end - and Steve was getting closer every second. With nowhere else to run, dream-Jaime stepped into the tunnel…

* * *

Michael had barely set foot in Rudy's office - he hadn't been briefed yet or even grabbed a cup of coffee - when the alarms began to sound. Oscar looked to the two doctors for an explanation, but they were already halfway out the door. "She's coding!" Rudy called to the nurse at the desk. "Get the crash cart!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The voice was soft but authoritative, demanding her attention. "Jaime…can you hear me?"

Jaime opened her eyes to a face she hadn't seen in more than ten years. She looked up at him, blank-eyed and silent, unsure at first if this was another of dream-Jaime's pictures.

"Hi there," Michael said. Jaime's condition had stabilized rapidly after he'd relieved the swelling and subsequent pressure in her brain that had caused her to stop breathing. Now he would slowly and carefully determine if there were any after-effects. "Do you know where you are?" he queried in a soothing voice.

Jaime looked around the room, at the now-familiar monitors and at Rudy who was observing at the foot of her bed, then she looked up at Michael and gave a slight nod.

"I need you to wiggle the fingers of your left hand for me, please," he told her. Slowly, Jaime complied. "Good. Now try and follow my finger with your eyes, without moving your head at all." Michael moved his index finger across Jaime's line of vision, starting about two feet away and gradually moving to within six inches of her nose. "Very good," he affirmed. "Are you in pain right now, Jaime?" Silently, she nodded. "And did moving your eyes make the pain any worse?"

Jaime shook her head almost imperceptibly. Michael turned to the nurse. "Twenty-five cc's of Demerol, IV," he ordered. He checked the readings on the monitors and made note of his new patient's vital signs until the nurse returned. Once Jaime had been made more comfortable (but not _too _heavily sedated), he continued his exam. "Alright, now I'd like you to move your toes for me." Upon seeing Jaime looking up at him expectantly, he clarified. "Either foot is fine - or both - your choice."

Jaime's toes bent down and then back up again, just once, but Michael was satisfied. "That's enough for now," he told her. "You did a great job. Try and rest, alright?" He motioned for Rudy to follow him out, and they returned to the office for a cup of coffee and to regroup.

"She seems to be responding well," Rudy ventured.

"Better than I'd expected, for just coming out of surgery," Michael affirmed. "I'm a little concerned about her lack of verbal response, but she's gone from a 'three' on the Glasgow scale to an 'eleven'." Michael turned to Oscar, who'd been waiting in the office for hours, for any sort of news. "That means she's gone from a near-death rating to that of a moderate head injury. And that's excellent news. Hopefully, after she's more rested she'll be able to answer us verbally and we can get a clearer picture of exactly where things stand. For now though, I'm very encouraged."

"I'll let Steve know," Oscar told the others. "He called a little while ago - some sort of gut instinct that Jaime was in trouble. I…wasn't sure what to tell him." Oscar reached for the phone to share the good news with his anxious friend.

* * *

With 48 hours, Jaime was not only verbally responsive but was sitting up in bed and eating small meals. She'd been asking about Chris - and Michael and Rudy had finally deemed her ready to talk to Oscar about what had happened. Michael seated himself across the room to inconspicuously watch for any signs of a medical problem.

Jaime had now had several days of virtual inactivity in which she could process everything dream-Jaime had experienced and assimilate it into her own heart and mind. There was so much she didn't understand!

"How can I help you?" Oscar asked simply.

"_Why _wouldn't Steve go to Budapest?" Jaime asked in a quiet voice. "He could've saved Chris and he just…didn't. He let him die!"

"Babe," Oscar began, taking her hand in his own, "there was nothing Steve could have done. By the time he would've gotten there….Chris was already gone."

"Oh." Pearls of anguish streamed down Jaime's cheeks. "I…didn't know."

Oscar took a tissue from the box beside the bed and tenderly wiped away her tears - but they continued to fall. The magnitude of her loss had finally hit Jaime full force.

"I loved Chris so much…" she whispered. "I…still love him. But I guess I owe Steve an apology."

"He understands, Jaime," Oscar assured her.

"Will you call him for me? I really…need to see him."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Confusion swirled inside of Jaime like a rising, suffocating fog. She realized that Oscar hadn't truly answered her question. Sure, he'd exonerated Steve, made certain she knew there was nothing he could've done…but why hadn't Steve at least _tried_? Was Oscar cushioning her from the rest of the truth because he'd sensed what she was still trying to hide? Jaime had related portions of her dreams to her doctors, but had not yet acknowledged the fact that these were now more than just pictures in her mind. She could _feel_ each and every emotion connected to the pictures (and the people) as vividly as if they'd never been lost at all. Jaime didn't want the doctors probing this new development yet, though - not until she came to some sort of terms with it herself. A big part of doing that would be to see Steve…to talk with him about what had happened to Chris and maybe - just _maybe _- what had once happened between the two of them, as well.

Steve stopped in to see Rudy for an update first - and was taken aback to see Michael there as well. Oscar had failed to mention that the expert Rudy was consulting with was Steve's former rival for Jaime's affection. He managed to hide his shock, shake hands and greet Marchetti congenially. "Thank you for everything you're doing to help Jaime," he said sincerely. "How's she doing?"

"She's healing nicely," Michael answered. "Still very quiet but recovery can be very gradual from an injury like hers."

"Is she in pain?"

"We're trying to stay on top of it with medication, but yes, she is."

"Is she up to…a visitor?" Steve really wanted to ask if she was up to seeing _him_, but his meaning was understood.

"She's been asking to see you," Michael affirmed. When Steve was gone, Michael turned to Rudy. "Maybe we should've warned him - about her memory." In spite of Jaime's thinking that she was keeping it hidden, both doctors knew and, consequentially, so did Oscar.

"We don't want to get his hopes up prematurely," Rudy remarked. "Like you told us, it could all disappear again as she heals."

"But it might not. Maybe he has the right to know."

Oscar shook his head, butting in for the first time. "I have a feeling Jaime will tell him herself…when she's ready."

* * *

Steve tried to shake off his trepidation as he peered around the door frame into Jaime's room. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't glaring and screaming at him either so he stepped inside and extended the bouquet of yellow roses he'd brought her. "I thought the room could use a little more color," he told her. "Can I put them in water for you?"

Jaime nodded. "Thank you." She gathered all of her courage, since the conversation would not be an easy one, no matter which way it went. She waited until he chose a chair near the window and sat down before taking a deep breath and plunging in. "Steve…I…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, and -"

"Don't apologize," Steve responded. "There's no need. You're in pain and I picked the wrong time to randomly poke my head in." He looked at her closely, trying not to seem like he was staring. Her face seemed so neutral and expressionless but the look in her eyes broke Steve's heart. "I'm sorry about Chris," he said very softly. "I know how much you loved him."

"I _still_love him, Steve! He wanted me to marry him and I didn't…and now he's gone…."

"I wish there was something I could've done -"

This struck a hard, bitter chord within Jaime. "I know that…_it_…happened before you would've gotten there, but you didn't even _try _to help him! Why, Steve?"

"I have no sources, no contacts anymore. I'd have been the next one in that cell, getting shot. I'm truly sorry, Sweetheart, but even if Chris had still been alive, there was nothing I could've done to help."

"You've risked your life to try and save total strangers…but you couldn't go in after the man I love?" Jaime lowered her head to fight off tears then raised it again to glare straight at him. "Maybe that's the _real _reason you wouldn't go - because it was Chris and because I loved him!"

If Jaime had struck him across the face with her bionic fist, it couldn't have hurt him more. Steve struggled to maintain his composure and not make things worse by snapping back at her. "You're wrong, Sweetheart -"

"Don't call me that!"

"I'd have made the same decision no matter who was in trouble in Budapest," Steve insisted.

"What if it'd been me?" Jaime demanded. She knew that Steve had no answer that would satisfy her, and her head was pounding with a new intensity that was almost unbearable. "I'm really tired," she lied, closing her eyes. "I need to sleep now."

Steve reached out and brushed her hand on his way out the door. Jaime laid quietly with her eyes shut even after he'd gone…wondering if she'd just made a terrible mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Over the course of the next few days, Jaime seemed to grow more withdrawn…and bitterly angry. Rudy and Michael debated whether the drastic change in her was a stage in her grieving, a complication of the head injury - or something even more ominous.

"I haven't seen a personality change this dramatic since her first bionic rejection," Rudy fretted. "It's more than grief -"

"Grief can produce intense anger," Michael reminded him, "but I have to agree with you. There's something else compounding Jaime's grief."

"She seems to be retaining the memories that have come back to her," Rudy suggested. "Maybe that's at the root of all this."

"That could still change. Jaime may be remembering incidents from her past due to the severe pressure that the swelling caused to the synapses in her brain. Now that the pressure's been relieved and the synapses are returning to their normal state, those memories may disappear."

"Or they might not."

"Right. But personality changes, mood swings and even intense anger are often after-effects of a moderate to severe brain injury - even in the absence of a skull fracture. I've worked extensively with patients in exactly this situation - well, minus the bionics, of course - and I'd like to spend some time talking with Jaime, to analyze any physical or biological changes she might undergo as she confronts everything that's happened to her."

"Just be careful she doesn't pitch the water jug at your head," Rudy said, not entirely joking.

* * *

That afternoon, when he'd completed a thorough and systematic check of Jaime's condition, Michael pulled a chair closer to her bedside and sat down. Jaime looked at him questioningly, unsure of what was coming next.

"How's the pain?" he asked.

"It's pain," she grumbled. "It hurts."

Michael ignored the crankiness of her response and eyed her closely. "Tell me what's on your mind today."

"What - you're a shrink now, too?" Jaime snapped.

"Talk to me about Steve."

"No."

"Does thinking about him make the pain worse?"

"I just don't wanna talk about him - that's all," Jaime said, her eyes hard and her jaw set defiantly.

"You've told us he was in your dreams - and that he frightened you. Why? What made you afraid?"

"I don't know."

"I think you _do _know," Michael responded gently. "Jaime, you need to talk about this."

"Leave me alone!"

Michael saw that she was eying the water jug…and he moved it firmly out of her reach. "Now talk to me. It's the only way you'll start to feel better. What scared you so badly, when you dreamed about Steve?"

Jaime's eyes grew distant and clouded over with pain. "He kept saying….that he loved me…"

"And that frightened you?"

"He doesn't love me. He doesn't care at all…or he would've tried to save Chris!" Jaime looked at Michael with a face that was sad and bereft beyond the point of tears. "He didn't even try!"

"When you saw him the other day, did you ask him about that?"

"Of course I did."

"And?"

"It was all an excuse!" Jaime said with flaming vehemence. "If it had been me over there - or even a total stranger - Steve would've found a way. He would've at least made an effort to -"

"To get himself killed?" Michael injected. Jaime merely glared at him. "Would you feel better about all of this if Steve _had _gone to Budapest…and died there?"

"Yes! I mean…no! That's not a fair question!"

"Steve has been retired for a long time," Michael reminded her. "Oscar didn't give him an assignment - he asked him for a favor which Steve felt he couldn't deliver. He had every right to say no. I think if you'd been in Steve's situation, you'd have made the same decision."

"But I _wasn't _ in Steve's situation!" Jaime cried. "I was _in Budapest _- right there with Chris - and…and I couldn't help him."

"Before you can accept what Steve did - and maybe even begin to forgive him - you need to forgive yourself." Jaime's face blanched as she took in what Michael was saying. "You did the best you could," he continued, "in the way you felt was right. So did Chris…and so did Steve."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The next morning, Oscar was at the hospital early enough to share morning coffee with Rudy and Michael. "How's the patient?" he asked in what he hoped was a casual voice.

"A little cranky," Rudy said.

"Those dreams she had brought all of Jaime's most intense emotions straight to the surface," Michael explained. "Unfortunately, that's where they've stayed. She's got a lot on her plate and has to find a way to sort it out and come to terms with it – all at once."

"That can't be easy under the best of conditions," Oscar agreed. "What, exactly, _is _her condition now?" he added, almost as an afterthought.

"She's struggling," Michael told him. "Physically, she's starting to heal nicely, but emotionally...well, healing is still a long way off."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Oscar offered.

"Maybe. Talk with her – but more than that, just listen. Let Jaime vent, at least as much as you can tolerate without blowing up at her, and -"

"I won't blow up at her," Oscar promised.

Michael raised a doubtful eyebrow. "You haven't seen her in a few days, have you...?"

* * *

Jaime was sitting in a chair by the window and smiled when Oscar knocked on the open door. She seemed harmless enough, Oscar thought to himself. Marchetti must've been blowing it out of proportion. "Hi, Babe," he said, smiling back at her. He handed her the small white box he'd carried with him. "I brought you some donuts."

"Thank you," she told him, setting the box on the table.

"How are you feeling?"

Jaime scowled. "Why does everyone find it necessary to take my emotional temperature every five minutes? I'm _fine_!"

Oscar was undeterred. "Physically – how are you? How's the pain? Michael says you're healing nicely."

"_Michael says?_" Jaime exploded. "Just how many times have you met to talk about me without my getting to be there?"

"I was worried about you, Babe, so I asked your doctor how you were doing."

"You can always ask me, you know!"

Oscar took a deep breath. He was beginning to see Michael's point. Trying to explain himself (or argue that as OSI director he not only had the right to talk to her doctors but could view her medical records at any time) would certainly not help matters at all.

"Why _are _you here, anyway?" Jaime demanded, staring fiercely at him.

"I came to see you – and to bring your favorite donuts. This is the pleasurable part of my day, Jaime. Talking to your doctors may be part of my job, but -"

"Part of your job?" she fumed. "Ha! You weren't so concerned about doing your job when Chris got captured – were you?"

Oscar was trying hard not to rise to the bait. "I did everything humanly possible -"

"No! No, you didn't!"

"I put together the best possible team and sent them straight over there...but it was already too late," Oscar said gently.

"You should've sent _Steve_! Oscar, you could've made him go – ordered him! - but you didn't! You asked a favor of an old buddy...and now...now Chris is...dead." Jaime picked up the water pitcher and sent it flying into the rear wall of the room.

Oscar much preferred taking the blame himself rather than seeing her this furious with Steve, but at this point he was struck speechless by her unexpected intensity. Jaime got up from the chair and sank into her bed, her face covered with both hands. "I don't...wanna talk anymore," she whispered.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Oscar promised.

"Don't bother! Just do your job and leave me alone!"

Oscar shook his head sadly as he headed back to Rudy's office. As much as he wanted Jaime to recover, to feel better all around, it was more than that. It seemed that the time might soon be approaching when he would _need _her to be better...and she was nowhere even close to ready.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Rudy and Michael glanced up hopefully when Oscar returned. In truth, he'd lasted longer than they'd expected him to. "No visible bloodshed," Rudy noted wryly. "That's a good sign."

Oscar shook his head. "In all the years I've known Jaime, I've never seen her like that. She's in meltdown mode."

"That's an understatement," Rudy agreed.

"What happens now?" Oscar asked Michael.

"Obviously, we can't release her in this condition. She could be a danger to others – and possibly even to herself."

Oscar was horrified. "Are you saying you plan to _commit _her?"

"Of course not," Rudy answered. "Michael's made some real progress in getting Jaime to open up and I'd like to see that continue."

"We'll bring in a staff psychiatrist if she starts fighting me," Michael added, "but for now we just have to accept that it's one step forward and two steps back. Physically, Jaime could be released in a couple more days; her latest brain scans turned up no abnormalities, no signs of a clot or cellular damage -"

"So basically, it's all in her head," Oscar concluded.

"That's right. But she's carrying some pretty heavy baggage in her head right now. I'll do everything I can..."

* * *

Michael gave Jaime half an hour to quiet her nerves before he headed down to see her. "How was your visit with Oscar?" he probed, pulling his chair to its usual position beside her bed.

"I don't feel like talking," Jaime snapped. "Besides, I'm sure he's already given you every little detail."

"Even if he has, I'd like to hear your viewpoint."

"Geez – you never let up, do you?"

"Nope."

"Well, I hope you enjoy talking to yourself, because I'm going to sleep."

"You'll have the rest of the day to sleep if you're tired. Right now I'd like you to tell me what's on your mind."

"What's on my mind is that twice now you've dragged me back when you should've let me die!"

"You're welcome," Michael said softly. He ducked as Jaime threw her pillow at him, deflecting it with his arm so it landed on the floor. "Now that you have no pillow, I guess you'll be staying awake, so we may as well get it all out on the table. You were angry at Steve, then at Oscar – and now you're trying to deck me with lethal pillows." He leaned closer to his glaring patient. "What's really got you so tied up in a million knots?"

Jaime's right hand was working furiously, picking lint balls off of her blanket (and leaving tiny holes) until she grew frustrated and tossed it down to join her pillow. "Chris is dead...and I'm still here," she told Michael, finally giving in to the tears she'd been battling for days. "I got a second chance – and a third – and Chris...didn't. It isn't fair!"

"There's more," Michael replied. It wasn't a question.

"All those dreams that I had...there's so much there. Why now? It's too much, all at once."

"Especially when it comes to Steve?" Michael asked gently.

Jaime nodded. "Yeah. Michael, I can remember now...what it felt like...to _love _him."

"Do you still love him?"

"No! I...I love Chris! I mean...I _loved_ him. And Steve is responsible -"

"No, Jaime – he isn't. The people responsible for Chris's death are the people who shot him." Michael knew she would need a hefty dose of reality to bring her around. "Did Steve lead him off at gunpoint, lock him in a cell?" Jaime stared guilty at the floor, tears streaming down her face. "Did Steve shoot him? For that matter...did you? You couldn't have prevented what happened, any more than Steve – or even Oscar – could have. You've got every right to be angry about what happened to Chris; just be sure you're angry at the right people and not at the rest of the world."

Again, Jaime nodded. "You're right."

"As for all of your new memories, try to imagine yourself putting them all in a scrapbook, where you can look at them one at a time, when you're ready. Just because everything was served to you on one gigantic heaping platter doesn't mean you can't save some of it for later. Okay?"

"I'll try that," she said, very softly. "And Michael...thank you for not letting me die."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

It seemed like Jaime had finally turned the corner. While she still mourned Chris (and missed him terribly), her appetite had improved, her pain had lessened dramatically – and visitors to her room no longer had to fear projectiles aimed at their heads. Oscar stopped in every morning with either donuts or some other choice tidbit to tempt Jaime's reawakening taste buds.

Steve, although still staying close by, contented himself with twice-daily phone calls to the doctors for updates. The truth was, Jaime's words had cut him deeper than he let on and the guilt gnawed at him constantly. He couldn't stop berating himself for not being willing to at least _attempt _a rescue. Even though he would've been too late, he hadn't known that when he'd said no. Had he lost that fighting spirit – the ability to pull the best from himself whenever and wherever he was needed? An even worse thought plagued him: had he lost his courage?

There was one thing he longed to do that would take enormous courage – he wanted to visit Jaime. She'd be leaving the hospital very soon and Steve wanted to wish her well and offer any help she might need getting resettled at home. Bracing himself for the possibility that she might send him away again, Steve knocked on the door frame. Jaime looked up at him with initial uncertainty but then – surprisingly – she gave him a very slight smile.

"Hi there," he began, somewhat encouraged.

"C'mon in – I promise I won't bite."

Steve chose the chair by the window, sat down and took a good look at Jaime. Her eyes were clear, her color was back and...there was something different about her that he couldn't quite put a finger on. "I hear you're going home tomorrow," he ventured.

"Yup. I'm so excited – but it'll be kinda weird, too."

"Oh?"

"You...don't really wanna hear this," Jaime told him.

"Try me."

"There's so much of Chris in that place..."

"If you need any help settling in again or just need someone to talk to, I hope you know you can call me."

Jaime gave him another brief (but sad) smile. "I appreciate that. Thank you. Ya know, I'm really glad you came by today. I've been...thinking about you."

Steve wondered briefly just how many mental darts she'd thrown at his picture in her mind. "Good or bad?" he asked.

"Well...both. Steve, I said some really awful things to you -"

"Believe me," Steve countered, "I've said worse to myself in the last few days."

"I'm so sorry."

"You and Chris were together a long time," he said quietly. "You had every right to be mad as hell at me. You still do. Jaime...I don't even know why I turned Oscar down, except that the little voice in my gut told me it wouldn't end well. You and I were both trained to listen to that little voice inside us."

"I know. And Michael helped me see that it wasn't you or Oscar I was really so angry with. It was the world...the situation...the unfairness of it all. And that still hurts, but I can't keep taking it out on the people around me or I'm gonna need a rubber room."

Steve wondered to himself when Michael had gotten so wise. "Just remember that anytime you need to talk about things – or even let some of that anger out – I'm here."

Jaime nodded. Steve could see there was something she was holding back – something else on her mind that she was choosing not to share – but trying to force Jaime to talk was akin to pulling teeth with a feather. It simply couldn't be done. He could only hope that if and when she was ready to let it out, she'd call him.

He hoped that they were still friends.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Oscar, I've wondered before but you just made it official – you have lost your mind!" Rudy fretted. "You can't possibly be considering giving Jaime an assignment!"

"I'm not 'considering' it," Oscar clarified. "I need her, Rudy. There's no considering to be done."

"Well, I won't allow it!"

"You've released her from the hospital and -"

"And she's still under my care!" Rudy bristled across the room and closed his office door. "Jaime is in no shape to work. Maybe in another couple of weeks -"

"I need her now," Oscar insisted. "It's urgent."

"It's _always _urgent with you," Rudy pointed out. "Whatever it is, send Steve instead."

"I plan on it. They'll be working together."

Rudy's head whirled with the possible implications. "Oh, that makes it _so_ much better."

* * *

After Jaime had politely turned down his offer to help her get settled back in at home, Steve returned to Summer Maiden. His charter schedule for the next week was empty, since he'd left that time open for Jaime, so he now had more time than he ever could've wanted to spend relaxing, reflecting and...thinking. He was down in his quarters, contemplating a glass of scotch when he heard Oscar's voice.

"You down there, Pal?"

"So you wanna do a little fishing before you go back to DC?" Steve asked jovially as he ascended the half-flight of stairs. Then he saw the suit and tie. "Uh-uh...forget it. No more favors, Oscar. I'm out of business, remember?"

"Let's sit down," Oscar suggested. He shook his head to decline the glass of scotch Steve held out to him. "I'm sure you remember Fortress," he began.

"Lyle Stenning's group. Stole our munitions and sold them to the enemy. Nice guys. They kind of died off after the 70's, though. Their leader going to prison probably had a lot to do with it."

"I'm sure it did," Oscar confirmed. "But they're back in business."

"Stenning's out?" Steve asked, stunned. "I thought he had another ten years – at least."

"They're under new leadership and they've raided three of our munitions warehouses in the last thirty days. On last night's run, they took out four security guards and a civilian. Intel reports no sign of any of the stolen merchandise turning up for sale, so -"

"They're hoarding it," Steve concluded. "But for what?"

"That's what we need to find out."

"_We?_Now wait a minute, Oscar! I told you -"

"And I'm telling _you_– I need your help on this one, Pal."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not asking a favor here?"

Oscar ignored the question. "I'm putting my best people on this. A small team – just two people – since more would only attract their attention."

"I can't be your Superman anymore, Oscar. I can't go running around saving the world from itself when I'm..." Then it sunk in. "Your best _two_people...?"

"I need your eye, Jaime's ear and every ability the two of you -"

"No way. Oscar, you can't be serious. She just got out of the hospital!"

"Which means she's healthy."

"Besides, Jaime doesn't trust me right now. Hell, I don't think she even _likes _me at this point!"

"I'm sure you can both put feelings aside long enough to get this done," Oscar told him.

"And for the record, I don't appreciate your talking about the two of us in terms of our body parts. You need 'her ear' and 'my eye'. What about the people attached to those multi-million dollar pieces of equipment?"

"I need the people most of all," Oscar clarified, very quietly. "I'm sorry for putting it that bluntly, but your abilities – and Jaime's – make you the ideal team for this assignment. You're familiar with Fortress and -"

"Jaime isn't," Steve argued.

"No, but she can open safes, hear things you'd never pick up without a sophisticated monitoring system that we don't have time to put into place...and you've been a successful team in the past. You work well together."

"We _used _to. Have you talked to Jaime yet?"

"I sent Russ over to pick her up. They'll meet us at the office in one hour."

"And Rudy's alright with this?"

"Rudy knows," Oscar said truthfully. He left out the fact that he was activating Jaime into service _against _her doctors' wishes. Some things were simply better left unsaid.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Contrary to Steve's prediction, Jaime was _not _upset at being called to work. She peppered Russ with questions for the entire ride to the office, but he'd been told nothing other than to pick her up. By the time Oscar arrived, she'd worked herself into a state resembling a kid at 4am on Christmas, waiting impatiently to open the new toys. When she heard the elevator, she bounced out to meet it – and nearly bumped right into Steve, who got off first.

"Hi there," he said, grinning at her.

"Steve? I – um – we – we're working together?"

"Let's go into my office and talk," Oscar suggested. He gave Jaime a quick but detailed summary of the case, ending with what he feared might turn things negative for her. "You'll have to parachute in, since he can't have a chopper go in low enough to drop you."

Jaime swallowed hard as both men waited for her response. "Okay," she said, sounding just a tiny bit hesitant. "Not a problem."

Oscar had a slight, momentary twinge of conscience, but he needed her on this assignment and that was the only way in. "Your plane is ready as soon as you are," he told them both.

* * *

Jaime was unusually quiet as she sat against the wall in the back of the transport plane. Steve wasn't sure exactly what was getting to her – but the thought of seeing her jump from a plane again made him cringe inside. "I inspected your gear myself. Twice," he told her. "Everything is in great shape."

Jaime nodded her thanks and closed her eyes, trying to ward off her growing sense of fear. When she opened them again, Steve was seated beside her, looking directly into her eyes with a gaze of deep concern. "Are you alright?" he asked gently. He thought maybe Jaime might be having those tiny flashes of partial memory again – he had no idea that she was actually reliving every horrific second of her accident in bright, vivid detail.

"I'm...okay," she whispered.

"And I almost believe you."

"I can do this..." Jaime insisted (as much to herself as to Steve).

"I don't doubt that for a minute." He looked at her more closely. This wasn't just nerves on her part; this was full-fledged terror. "Jaime, what is it?"

"I'm...not okay," she admitted. "But...I wanna do this – I _have _to do this!"

"Five minutes!" the pilot called to them.

"I'll be right with you the whole time," Steve promised. "I can even hold your hand until it's time to pull the rip cords."

"Just like...the accident," Jaime said quietly.

"You remember that?" Steve couldn't hide his shock. Had preparing to jump again (with him) brought the memory back? What else did she remember? Now wasn't the time to find out. Jaime needed his help and they were running out of time.

"Yeah. I could do without the gory details right about now..."

"You've had successful jumps since then, right?"

"Just one or two..."

"Well, think about those," Steve suggested.

"Four minutes!" the pilot told them.

"We'd better get ready." Steve stood up and extended his hand – but Jaime remained plastered against the wall of the plane. Her face was porcelain-pale. "C'mon – I'll help you." He took her arm and reluctantly Jaime rose to her feet and allowed Steve to strap her gear on and triple-check each piece. "Good to go," he said, trying to sound cheerful. He looked into her eyes and was startled by something unexpected – a new recognition that there was no time to question.

"Don't look at me like that," Jaime pleaded. "Not now." Steve led her to the hatch and eased it open as the pilot called the thirty second warning. "I can't do this!" Jaime told him, shrinking away from the doorway.

Arguing was out of the question. Steve had no choice but to take Jaime firmly by the arm...and pull her from the plane.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Steve saw Jaime's eye blank out with fear and he grabbed her hands tightly as they began plummeting toward the ground. Jaime blinked and looked back at him, suddenly flashing on another jump where he'd held her hands, kissed her in mid-air and...

She shook her head with vehemence and pulled away from him. Puzzled, Steve stayed as close to Jaime's side as the slight wind currents would allow, relieved that at least she seemed to be 'back' and able to function. As soon as he saw her pull the rip cord, he pulled his own, keeping an eye on her as the splooosh of the opening chutes whisked them apart. They landed further apart than Steve would've liked but he could still see her as Jaime made a solid two-point landing – then wobbled alarmingly for a second and sat down.

"Great job, partner," he told her. She seemed slightly dazed, so Steve reached to help her off with her gear.

"I can do it," she insisted...but made no move to try, letting him fold up and stash both parachutes while she stared dizzily off into the horizon.

They were a safe enough distance away that they could take the time for Jaime to get her bearings...if that was what the problem was. Eying her carefully, Steve sat down beside her.

"That wasn't so bad!" Jaime said (a little _too _brightly). "Let's get to it." She stood up, ready to get on with it, but Steve grabbed her arm.

"Sit down a minute first. Let's talk." He tried to phrase his question very carefully. "Jaime...did you talk to Rudy before you came back to work?"

"Well, I saw him this morning, before I left the hospital.."

Steve nodded grimly. "That's what I thought. He doesn't know you're here – does he?"

"I...guess I assumed Oscar'd take care of that."

"Oscar told me that Rudy 'knew about it'. I know Oscar Goldman well enough to know his double-speak when I hear it. You were _not_medically cleared to be here."

"Well, I'm here now, so we may as well get to work," Jaime said firmly. Steve had to admit that she did look better, now that she'd rested a minute. "You know," she continued, "I don't understand why we can't just find their leaders, nab 'em and cut this whole group down at the knees."

"Because that's not what we were sent here to do," Steve reminded her. "We need to gather all the Intel we can and report back to Oscar. If Fortress is as big a threat as he believes them to be, he'll send a mass of agents in to take them all down at once."

"That sounds pretty iffy. What if they realize they're under attack? Oscar stands to lose...everybody."

"That's why we're going in – to find out their weak spots. Who they report to, where the munitions are – if they're even keeping them here – and how well the place is guarded."

Jaime shrugged. "He could send any old team in to run Intel."

"With a bionic ear and an eye? What we can gather from a distance is more than any other team could find out inside the complex."

"Well, I still think we should go in. At least grab their leader and -"

"Forget it, Jaime. We can't go rushing in without -" Steve was shushed by Jaime's urgent finger to his lips. She was listening intently to something.

Jaime turned quickly to Steve. "Someone just said 'Tell Santiago I know I saw parachutes – and I'm gonna check it out.' Steve, we're about to have company!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Within seconds, they had a plan – or, rather, _Jaime _had a plan. "I don't like it," Steve groused. I'm not leaving you out here by yourself for them to -"

"We don't have time to argue about it," Jaime insisted. "Now, that's what _I'm _gonna do. What about you? Are you following the plan...or standing here and getting us both shot?" Her jaw was set in that firm 'Jaime' fashion and Steve knew he'd been outvoted. Sighing, he spread Jaime's gear out behind her on the ground, grabbed his own gear and took off at a full-speed run into a grove of trees. Jaime looked inside of herself for the right frame of mind...and didn't have to look far. She had plenty of inner angst to draw from.

The 'search party' consisted of two men in a jeep – the driver and a gunman. They found Jaime sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest, sobbing broken-heartedly as she clutched one ankle. She played herself as much younger, with a more innocent version of Lisa Galloway's voice pouring out of her in a rush of tearful words. "Please can ya'll help me? The wind...it blew us right off course and I don't know where my boyfriend is, but I need to call my Daddy to come and get me. Please...do ya'll have a phone?"

"This area is off-limits, Miss," the man with the gun told her. "You'll have to leave immediately."

"I – I wanna leave, but ya see, I don't think I can walk right. I hit the ground so _hard_! Soon as my Daddy comes, we'll find my boyfriend and be right on outta here." She looked pleadingly at the man with the gun. "Now, why would a big, strong fella like you need such a big gun – when it's only li'l ol' me? Ya'll are scarin' me..."

"I'm sorry, Miss," the man said. (Was he actually _blushing_?) Shockingly, he put the gun in his belt and extended a hand to Jaime.

"What the hell are you doin'?" the driver asked, knocking the gunman's helpful arm away.

"We have to help the little lady, Frank. Why else are we supposed to do – just leave her here?"

The driver scowled. "Maybe do your job...and _shoot _her!"

"Nonsense," the gunman told him. He knelt down next to Jaime, who gave him a good 'damsel-in-distress' cringe. "Don't you worry. I won't hurt you. Can you stand up?"

"I...don't know..." Jaime said, sniffling. She took the man's arm and made a show of hobbling up onto one foot. "Can I call my Daddy? Please?"

"Of course you can."

"Tom, don't be an idiot!" the driver cautioned. But Tom was already loading Jaime into the jeep.

She kept her eyes open to every single detail on the short drive back, taking mental notes to forward later to Oscar. The complex was much larger than they'd expected but the massive gates had only two entrances – front and rear. Both appeared to be heavily guarded. The guards at the rear opened the gate when they saw the jeep and the driver pulled right inside what looked like an old airplane hangar.

"Come with me," Tom told her, offering his arm for support as Jaime limped along beside him. They passed several vans that were full of unopened wooden crates; Jaime added that to her mental list while pretending to be in too much pain to notice much of anything. Tom led her through a door at the other end of the hangar and they stepped outside and then immediately into an abandoned office complex. At least...it looked abandoned.

"You wait in here," Tom told her, escorting her into a small, windowless side office. "Put your ankle up and rest – I'll bring the phone to you."

"I sure am grateful," Jaime lilted with a slight smile. The smile disappeared when Tom did, as he closed the door behind him – and locked it.

"I'm not an idiot," Jaime could hear Tom telling Frank. "She ain't hurt. That ankle's not swollen – it's not even red!"

"Better tell Santiago," Frank agreed.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

From his vantage point in the trees, Steve could see that Jaime believed her ruse to be working. He also noted something that she probably didn't: a man putting a gun away with no intent to use it would have stashed it inside his coat – _not _within easy reach on his belt. Still, if he had run out after them or tried to disable the jeep it would've left Jaime fully exposed and vulnerable for the few seconds it took for him to reach her. Steve could only hope that Jaime had managed to convince them with her little routine before they'd reached the gates. He couldn't see where they took her once the jeep pulled into the complex, but he figured a phone call to 'Daddy' shouldn't take more than a few minutes...if the men had really bought Jaime's ruse.

Steve kicked himself mentally for allowing her to do it in the first place, but she'd really left him no choice. Jaime had been determined to do it _her _way – and arguing with her or staying by her side would've jeopardized the plan (and both of their lives). Steve kept his eye carefully trained on the complex but even after fifteen minutes there was no sign of Jaime. Sighing with resignation – and worried beyond caring about the hell he was about to get – he took out his datacom.

"Snow White...this is Grumpy. I think we need an extraction team here."

"What happened?" Oscar demanded.

"Jaime went in – and she should've been out by now...but..."

"Dammit – _find her!_" On the other end of the datacom, Oscar took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'll get a team together, but do what you can on that end...and keep me posted."

"I will." Steve clicked off and put the device away, wondering how on earth he'd begin to look for Jaime in such a sprawling complex.

* * *

Jaime took her ankle off of the stool Tom had propped it on and listened closely to the men outside the locked door. One set of footsteps faded down the hallway, but the second man was apparently waiting on the other side of the door. She knew the office she was confined in had a outer wall that was mere feet away from the fence on one side of the complex – about as far from the two guards' stations as it could possibly be – and briefly she debated just busting through the wall and jumping the fence to freedom. But...was her balance steady enough for a jump of over two stories? Could she tear through the fence itself (and what if it was electrified)?

After a few frightening minutes of indecision (while Jaime realized she should be thinking more clearly than she actually was), she decided to test the thickness of the outer wall. Working as quickly and silently as possible, she broke the metal leg from one of the chairs and gave it a good bionic push through the mortar and drywall...

* * *

Steve couldn't stay where he was and simply hope any longer. Nearly breaking his own speed record, he made his way to the side of the complex – where his attention was suddenly riveted to a metal bar poking through the outer wall of one of the buildings. "Jaime...?" he whispered (so that only she could hear him). The bar wriggled slightly. "Stay where you are, Sweetheart. I'm coming."

First, he knew he had to distract the guards, get them busy somewhere else, where it would take them more time to respond to a wall coming down. Steve picked up a large rock and hoisted it up over the entire complex, where it fell with a thud on the outside of the fence – all the way on the other side. He did the same with a second rock and a third, ensuring that the guards would be running to investigate, then he jumped the fence himself. "Get away from the wall," he whispered to Jaime – before sending his fist straight through it. He sighed with relief when he felt her reach out and gently touch his fingers. "We have to hurry," he said.

Together, he and Jaime worked at the hole until it was large enough for her to slip through. "I don't think I can jump it..." she told him, looking up at the top of the fence.

"I can," he answered, wrapping his right arm firmly around her waist. "Hang onto me." Within seconds, they were both over the fence and running toward the trees. "Oscar, I've got her!" he called into the datacom...just as shots were fired in the distance.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Steve nearly stumbled in his attempt to stay between Jaime and the gunfire. As they were just about to reach the trees, he saw an arm snake out from behind one of the larger tree trunks to grab Jaime – and he grabbed the offending arm firmly, pulling her attacker out to where he could deliver a good, solid roundhouse punch.

He stopped himself just in time. "...Oscar?" Both men ducked as more bullets peppered the air in their direction.

"Chopper's over there," Oscar told him, pointing beyond the trees.

Jaime had already found it and was inside, leaning wearily against the back wall of the aircraft. "'Bout time you got here," she said with a weak smile. Steve placed a cushion behind her head and sat down beside her as the chopper lifted off for a quick and timely getaway.

"Are you alright?" Oscar asked them both. "Rudy's on stand-by." He chose not to mention that Rudy was practically blowing smoke rings of fury out of his ears after hearing that Jaime was on this assignment. Steve nodded that he was okay, then turned to Jaime.

"I'm...sort of woozy," she admitted. "But I'm not hurt or anything."

"I'll let Rudy know," Oscar replied, taking his seat next to the pilot.

"You didn't need to call in the Cavalry," Jaime told Steve.

"I knew something was wrong – didn't want to take any chances."

Jaime sighed. "Their leader's name is Santiago – and I'm pretty sure he's right there in one of the buildings. They said they'd tell him, not that they'd call him, so..." She closed her eyes while she relayed the rest. "I saw dozens of crates in the hangar just inside the back gate. Whatever they've 'acquired', they're keeping it in there, loaded into vans and ready to go."

"I'm just glad you're safe," Steve added. "I should never have let you -"

"_Let _me?" Jaime fumed, her eyes snapping open. "Excuse me? I didn't hear you offering up a better plan!"

"You didn't give me the chance."

Jaime bristled. She was definitely not done. "And since when do you _let _me do anything? I don't recall any 'must-listen-to-Steve' clause in this assignment."

"Sweetheart -"

"Please don't call me that. Not right now."

"I didn't mean -"

"How about 'Great job, Jaime'? I mean, I got what we were sent there to find out, right?"

"You did," Steve allowed. He knew better than to argue when she was in this mind-set.

"And I would've gotten out eventually...I think. But...I sure was happy to hear your voice out there," she finally admitted.

"You're welcome."

* * *

"What were you thinking?" Rudy demanded when he met the arriving chopper. "Oscar, do you realize what could've happened?"

"I don't need a wheelchair, Rudy," Jaime insisted. "I'm fine."

Steve's gaze over Jaime's shoulder told Rudy he'd better take a look at her, just to be on the safe side. "Once we make sure you're fine, then you can walk out of here on your own steam," the doctor promised. "For now, into the chair, Young Lady." He shot a dagger-look in Oscar's direction. "We'll talk later," he said, wheeling his patient inside.

"So you were the extraction team, all by yourself?" Steve asked Oscar.

"Of course not. We saw from the air that you had her out, so I called off the other chopper."

"Probably best that you did. If Jaime knew I'd called for a whole team..."

"Right," Oscar noted, patting Steve's shoulder with a look of complete understanding.

* * *

"You're fine, Honey," Rudy confirmed after a quick but thorough series of tests. "No new injuries."

"I _told_ you!"

Rudy smiled warmly. "Let old Doc Rudy feel useful, will ya? I'd like you to stay overnight for -"

"Nope. I'm outta the hospital, effective this morning. Rudy...I just wanna go home."

Her eyes were pleading but her jaw was determinedly set. Just like Steve, Rudy knew better than to argue.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Rudy was so angry he could barely get the words out. "Oscar, I know you out-rank me but when it comes to the well-being of one of MY patients...!" His mustache wiggled as his cheeks puffed out and his nostrils flared with fury.

Oscar, on the other hand, was outwardly calm. "It's my understanding that Jaime is fine. You didn't even need to keep her overnight."

"_That_ is beside the point! Dammit – did you give one speck of consideration to what _could_ have gone wrong? After my specifically telling you that Jaime wasn't ready to work – that it could in fact be extremely dangerous – you went behind my back and sent her out anyway! Against medical advice – and against good old-fashioned common sense!"

"Yes, but -"

"But _nothing_!" Rudy thundered. "And then you have her _jump out of a plane!_ Un-be-lievable! What if she'd blacked out in mid-air? What if her legs had given out while she was trying to run? Do you even realize you jeopardized _both_ of their lives – hers _and _Steve's?"

"She did a great job," Oscar offered, rather feebly.

"She has my strict instructions to call me – day or night – if you pull a stunt like this again..."

"A _stunt?_ It was a matter of national security – and possibly _world_ security!"

Rudy shook his head. "Don't even try."

* * *

This time, Jaime accepted Steve's offer to help her settle in. She hadn't had much of a chance that morning before Russ had come to get her and now she was too exhausted to do anything other than collapse on the sofa. Steve put fresh sheets on her bed, made her a cup of tea and got a light dinner going.

He couldn't help but notice how much of Chris was...everywhere. His clothes were still in the closet (Jaime hadn't been home long enough to do anything with them) and it seemed like pictures of Jaime and Chris beamed down at Steve wherever he looked. He realized that being back here, where she and Chris had spent so many happy years together, must be tearing Jaime apart inside. Intuitively, Steve grabbed the box of tissues and brought them to Jaime along with her tea. Sure enough, although she quickly tried to hide it, Jaime had been crying.

"If it would help," Steve offered gently, "you could stay at a hotel while Russ and I take care of Chris's things for you. Tell us what you want done and we'll take care of it. I mean, you've been through enough."

Jaime thought for a minute, quietly sipping her tea. It was tempting (and would certainly be easier) but she knew it wouldn't be right. "I think...I should do it. I _need _to do it. Maybe then..." she choked back a muffled sob, "I'll really believe he's...gone." She looked up into Steve's eyes – they were so warm and loving – and she had to look away. The level of emotion there was something she just wasn't ready for.

In that quick flash of a moment, Steve felt a spark between them that he'd long feared was gone forever. He also saw how desperately Jaime backed away from it. Tenderly, he covered her with an afghan and flashed a reassuring smile. "I'll help you any way I can. For now, though, just relax," he suggested. "Nothing has to get done tonight."

Jaime nodded. "Thank you for...everything."

"For you – anytime."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Jaime couldn't figure out why Rudy wanted her to come down to the lab instead of seeing him at the medical clinic, but it was on the way to where she'd be donating the last of Chris's clothes so she dutifully did as he requested. It would be her first formal check-up since she'd been released from the hospital (although Rudy had stopped by every morning for a cup of coffee and to see how she was doing).

When Jaime walked into the lab, Rudy was grinning so broadly that even the tips of his mustache turned upward. "Have a seat and let's get started," he said jovially, giving nothing away. Jaime eyed him curiously as he took her vitals and tested her eyesight. "Any blurred vision?" he asked.

"Nope."

"Dizziness, unusual weakness or -"

"No. I feel fine. Just what are you up to, Doctor Wells?"

Rudy chuckled. "Up to? Just making sure my favorite patient is in the utmost tip-top condition so -"

"_Rudy!_"

"Well...that same favorite patient might just have a surprise waiting for her – IF she cooperates and lets me finish this exam."

"I'll be good," Jaime promised, laughing.

Rudy checked her balance, her hearing and any other little detail he could possibly come up with – just to be thorough, of course, but also to enjoy Jaime's anticipation. Finally, he was done. "Very impressive results," he told her, _still _grinning mischievously. "You've recovered even faster than I'd hoped. Unfortunately, I'm fresh out of lollipops today, so..." Rudy picked up the phone and dialed an extension. "She's ready," he told whoever was on the other end.

Jaime watched the door like a small child watches for Santa Claus – and within minutes, Oscar poked his head inside. "Hi, Babe," he said in a pleasant voice (with just a touch of sheepishness). Only his head was visible, as the rest of his body stayed behind the door, shielding Jaime's surprise from view. "I wanted to thank you again for a job well done last week – and to tell you how sorry I am for going against Rudy's orders..."

"And?" Rudy prompted.

"And for not telling you I was sending you out behind your doctor's back."

Jaime shrugged and smiled. "You did what you thought was right for the country, and no harm was done, so..."

"And thanks to your Intel, we were able to take down Santiago and his crew right at the heart of their operation," Oscar concluded. He looked guiltily at Rudy, then back at Jaime. "But I will never – _ever _– put you in that kind of jeopardy again."

"Oscar, danger comes with the territory," Jaime pointed out. "I'm used to that. But it's a lovely thought, so thank you."

"And..." Oscar said, finally stepping into the room, "there's someone else who'd like to give you his appreciation – and his heart."

Jaime looked quickly toward the door, half expecting to see Steve – and Max bounded into the room, his tail wagging joyfully as he greeted his old friend. "Hiya, Boy!" Jaime cooed, laughing as her face was washed several times over. She looked up at Oscar. "I didn't think he was still around."

"Max? He's ready for retirement with honors," Oscar told her, "but with his bionic components - and regular check-ups - he should have a few good years left. And Rudy and I feel that he should spend them...with you."

"Ooh!" Jaime said to the dog. "Did you hear that? You're coming for a visit!"

"More than that, Honey," Rudy explained. "Max is yours now. That is, if you want him." As if on cue, the dog laid his head in Jaime's lap and stared soulfully up into her face.

"If I want him? Are you kidding?" She reached down to embrace the dog. "We've gotta go shopping!"

"Russ is loading all of Max's things into your car for you," Oscar told her.

"Oh, but he'll need a new bed – won't you, Boy? And some new toys...and doggie treats 'cause he's such a good boy...and -" Jaime jumped to her feet and hugged first Oscar and then Rudy. "I'll take the best care of him."

"And bring him along when you have your check-ups," Rudy requested.

"I promise! C'mon, Max, let's go home! You and I are gonna make a great team!"

Max's bark and the ecstatic wagging of his tail said that he agreed.

END


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